And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
