mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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