There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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