Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
