Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
