ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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