she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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