A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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