Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
