Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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