isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
