I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
