Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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