I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
