I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
