the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
