Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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