I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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