You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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