thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
