mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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