I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
