come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
