she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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