A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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