she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
