She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
