Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
