I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
