I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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