he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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