Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
