My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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