I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
