Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
