Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
