He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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