The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
