Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Operation Purity has been aborted
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
