Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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