Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
