I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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