we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
