Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
