I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
