just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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