Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A bitchslap is in order.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
