Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
