so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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