i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's always time for handjobs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
