You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
