i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
