i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
