Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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