Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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