I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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