yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
