if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
