So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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